Replenishing my empty bucket is proving to be a desperately needed strategy. There seems to be so much going on all around me..both in my own life and in other peoples lives too that it is a season where I need to ensure I am "full". For one reason and another (mainly car parking.!) I don't get into the worship time in our weekly church meeting too often but this morning I wasn't "on duty" for the first time in 4 weeks so was there for the entire time of worship and it was only after we sat down that I realised just how depleted I had become.
There is nothing wrong with private worship in our homes..nothing lacking in listening to a worship CD...and usually when we worship in Life Group I can connect with God...but there is something hugely different about corporate worship and I was so aware of how God broke into our meeting and brought me once again to gaze at HIM....I think I am slightly biased about our worship team in that I have known many of them since they were kids and have seen them grow into followers of Christ and no-one can know the deep joy I have when my daughter and son in law are part of the team....they all truly are a blessing to our church community.
This morning we sang a couple of songs that led into a "word" that led into a time of response and prayer and it is times like this that replenish my soul. The words from one of the songs ..
"Oh no..you never let go....through the calm and through the storm." and linked to that the words from another one..."the same power that raised Christ from the grave lives in me..lives in me "
As we sang this over and over again I thought about the women I know who are walking through some really tough times... I thought about G.N who had lost her husband in the early hours of the morning...and about S.McM..who had lost her husband two weeks ago....I thought about a friend who is in hospital battling depression...I thought about 2 other friends who are lost and lonely and who have sadly lost sight of their Saviour... I prayed with a couple whose son is in hospital and yet another friend who is facing tough times ahead with financial difficulty..and then my heart turned towards my own life and family and I knew that God was speaking to me through this mornings worship time. Chris and I seem to have been in a "storm " for some time now...the anxiety over his job for months..the stress of our IVA and financial worries...and yet..somehow or other we are still hanging on in there...we know 100% that if we didnt have God to hang onto ..we would have lost the battle a long time ago.
Many of you know about my daughter and son in law and their fertility struggles and over this last 2 years I have had to hold on tight to God as I have walked some painful times with them. All mums know that seeing their children endure pain is the hardest thing to deal with and the emotional pain these "children" are feeling is indescribable...I would do anything to prevent them having to walk this walk....yet I know that God will go before them...walk with them..carry them whenever they need carried and will bring them through. To enable me to be an encouragement and support to them I desperately need to stay replenished and this morning I believe I had an infilling from God for this next wee while.
I sang..."the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in me " with such faith....if God can raise His precious son from the dead..then He surely can give me the strength I need to walk alongside C and N....and as I sang the words
"oh no...you never let go " I sang them prophetically....God...you will never let me go..."through the calm and through the storm"...I may be heading into a "storm" but God will never let me go.
Reading the word....praying...fellowship...serving....all are a vital part of the replenishment strategy but to worship God is surely one of the most dynamic ways in which we can connect with our Saviour.
and so for the moment....I am replenished.
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