Shadow Of Victory

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Unwritten Blog Entries

Wow...cant believe its been so long since I last much has happened that to attempt to catch up will take far too long but suffice to say I have had several entries brewing but for one reason or another I havent got them down .

Here is my attempt to catch up with myself .

In 2006 a series of sermons was preached by Simon which radically challenged me and helped me to move forward . The "catch phrase" was something along the lines of....

"Everyone is going somewhere but few will reach their destination on purpose"

This prompted me in the following 2 years to get a grip of my life in several different ways....I lost weight....I wrote and published a children's book....I got fit in both the physical and the spiritual sense and began to exercise long dormant spiritual gifts which manifested in leading a ministry . I truly believed I had begun to live "with purpose"

For several reasons the momentum got lost and by the end of 2010 I was at my lowest ebb ever....I had lost my way and there was certainly little "purpose" . For the last 2-3 months I have been searching for a way back and struggling to fund my purpose again. ....and I believe I am almost there with the strategies I am putting in place for this next season of life and there is a small bubble of excitement rising within my spirit as well as sheer terror.!!!

I wanted to write about several women who have helped me to face up to the
" drifting " which seemed to be taking me over and to express gratitude for the unasked for help they have unwittingly given me...its amazing how peoples lives and the way they lead it can help change lives ..perhaps even without their knowledge.

1)An old friend who over last year has re-surfaced in my life ....SF....I am constantly amazed at the way in which she lives her life....and altho some of the things she is Scuba diving and Bell ringing...I have no urge to copy but just the sheer diversity of her life makes mine a living contrast in boredom. I am in awe of her.

2)A young woman RB....who is an "Audacious Dreamer"...she has a dream and a vision and is risking her self to move into what she knows God wants her to do....I see a little bit of myself from 25 years ago when I too had audacious dreams ...spiritual dreams of a church community where Deaf people were integrated ...Families with children who have special needs having a place to come and be welcomed ...Adults with Disability knowing that God cares for them......I had big dreams and stepped out in faith and pushed the boundaries of our thinking and this young woman is doing the same....I am in awe of her.

3)Another friend who has challenged me is ST...for the time I have known her ...and it must be around 25 years... she has lived with Bi-polar....She is one of the strongest people I know in that she lives determined to press on and the way in which she shares and is vulnerable and aims to educate people about mental health issues is truly a testimony to how God is using her even when she feels at her weakest....I am in awe of her.

4)The final woman who has influenced me so much in this "empty" season is my daughter the face of huge issues in her life she has walked and lived with endurance and faith and a knowledge that God has a plan and purpose for her sure as she lives and breathes she was born to be who she is...and I am in awe of her.

I could continue to list other women who have influenced me but these are the ones who have brought a recent and fresh challenge in to my life....So....where am I going with this....I will blog soon about what I am hoping will be a life changing event happening in next few days.....but for the moment this is what I am hoping and praying for..... I have taken a little from each of these womens lives and am asking God to give me a little of what they have....

1)I am looking for fresh things to get involved with..both in church community but also in life generally...
2)I am beginning to dream again...not audaciously but just a gentle stirring..
3)I am going to continue to be open and vulnerable and expect God to use me even when I am weak
4)I am going to be strong...even when I have huge issues to face.

If you are continuing to read my blog....May you know Gods huge blessing upon your lives and experience a freshness in your spirit.