Thursday, 3 May 2012
The word...WHY....is one which small children ask from a very early age.... Why is the sky blue?? Why are you a girl?? Why do I have to go to bed?? Why do I need to eat my greens?? Why does that man have a big fat tummy?? You know what I mean??...its the main word that after a few of them asked in the most annoying voice repeated over and over can result in the parent saying..." I dont know why"...or just that one word "Because..!!" This word...WHY...stays in everyones vocabulary all throughout their lives...I guess there are lots of people who are asking the word WHY
about something in their lives right now and is maybe not getting any other answer other than the ones mentioned above..." I dont know "...or " Because "
Some of those questions that are weaving their way through my life right now are tough ones that I may never know the answer to...some of them I know I will get some sort of answer any day now....and its the reconciling of this that can be so hard.
Many years ago when I was a very new Christian I used to say to my friend.."when I get to heaven I will have a few questions to ask of God " My wise friend used to say to me "when you get to Heaven you will be so overwhelmed by Gods holiness the questions will fade un-noticed "...
So ....here are some of my questions ...I cant wait till I get to Heaven so I am going to seek the only one who can either give me the answers or at the very least give me some sort of peace and reconciliation that will enable my broken heart to heal and help me to breathe again without it hurting.
Why is my child going through this ongoing heartache??
Why is my Dorset buddy going through cancer??
Why am I unable to fix things??
Why does it seem so unfair??
Why did I lose two of my brothers to suicide??
Why did both my parents die without me being reconciled to them??
Why do I continue to struggle with thoughts that no-one would want to know about??
I believe 100% that My Saviour and God is big enough to take these questions and to bring me close and to shelter me under The Shadow of his Wings until the storm of pain has passed and the quiet of peace floods in...I am looking and seeking earnestly for that day and know it will be here soon...but for today and maybe tomorrow and maybe even the day after the uppermost thought in my mind is WHY.....