Shadow Of Victory

Tuesday, 26 June 2012


You know those days when you have just a smidgen of free time....not enough time to go anywhere or do anything big....and you are up to date with most of the important stuff in the a clean loo and not too many crumbs on the carpet and the bin isn't too overflowing.....those wee smidgens when you can just sit and let your mind wander??

Strangely I have had several days when I have had moments of mind wandering....I quite like this...especially if I don't fall asleep but manage to just let the thoughts go into free fall and go with them.

Some of these times I have felt like the "thought " has been like a bungee jump and whirled me down and down and down into a frightening thunderous dark place where I can only glance quickly and then be jettisoned back into reality with a grateful sigh....that I haven't had to stay there too long and examine the thought. the last few weeks I had some time out....Holidays...Conferences and some days at Fourteen ( our church organises amazing Retreat Days ) and rather than hurtle down into the abyss I have been intentional and made myself look at the dark places in some detail knowing I was in safe places and that God would be with me.

Pete Scazzero says in his book....Emotionally Healthy Spirituality..." The sad reality is most of us will not go forward until the pain of staying where we are becomes unbearable " This spoke to me in so many ways....

At the grand old age of 57 (yeah I know..none of you even suspected I was 50 did you ??)...I recognise that many seasons of my life have been slowed down and influenced by the pain of my childhood and now as there are most definitely less days ahead than there are behind me I am more and more ready to "move forward ".

At a recent Cherish conference one of the speakers used the scripture from one of Paul's letters..

Philippians ch 3 verses 12-14....Not that I have already obtained all this ,or have already been made perfect,but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it .But ONE THING I DO ; forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead,  I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus.

The speaker reminded us that Paul wrote this letter whilst he was actually in prison...he was still "pressing on" in his spirit towards the greater prize. The challenge was to reflect on how much of our past or present circumstances where we were allowing to prevent us from pressing on. We were also invited to ask God to imprint THE ONE THING deep into our hearts...mind...spirit and soul.....THE ONE keep pressing on....not to let anyone or anything stop us from pressing on towards the goal....

In the last few days as I have had these wee smidgens of time...reading and reflecting and looking back at my journals and chatting with friends I have realised afresh that I have forgotten THE ONE THING and today I have made the decision to "forget what is behind " and to "press on "..I have made some pretty radical decisions...more of which will be shared about in future blogs so watch this space !!

I am scared...excited...apprehensive...determined....all wrapped into THE ONE THING........