Shadow Of Victory

Friday, 23 January 2009

Why the title?

I thought it would be a good idea to explain why I have called my blog "The Shadow of Victory".
Having been a christian for almost half my life and being in my 50s I am realising more and more that time doesnt stand still. For too many of my years I have struggled with issues relating to my childhood, and for many of my early years as a christian I have looked for answers as to the the "why" of it all. In the last 2-3 years I have begun to grapple with the truth that I may never fully understand any of it.

Several years ago I listened to a series of preaching entitled "Doing Life Well" and although I have been the recipient of superb teaching over the years this particular series gripped me. The slogan that went with the series was something like.."everyone is going somewhere, but very few get there ON PURPOSE ". I began to ponder this and ask God what this meant for me and my searching for answers. God began to whisper to times I shut Him times I busied times I ignored His voice....but slowly but surely I realised this could be a life changing opportunity if only I would listen carefully.

God directed me to several verses from the old and new testament...
Psalm 91 says this..
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the SHADOW of the Almighty."
As I began to think this through in the light of my almost constant search for dealing with my past and for healing I sensed that God was saying to me..."its time to rest in my shadow."

Hebrews 11...that great faith chapter explains in verse 13 "All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised, they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance " ...and in verse 39 "These were all commended for their faith ,yet none of them received what had been promised."
These verses came alive to me and something in my spirit began to change....the restlessness that I have always known...the need for answers...the desire to justify what had happened...the searching for a deeper level of healing....all these things began to dissolve as God worked His peace and acceptance into my heart..soul...spirit.

At some point in 2008 I knew God was completing some kind of healing work ....I find it difficult to put into words the depth of peace that was beginning to envelope me. I realised that God wanted me to rest in His Shadow...and I am beginning to accept that this is okay....I dont need to keep keep looking keep asking...Like the heroes of Hebrews ch. 11 I am coming to a place of acceptance that I may never receive all that God has promised but I can still "see them and welcome them from a distance." the title of my blog....I am going to live life determined not just to "get there " but to get there on purpose ...and if I never know victory in its fullest sense then I will be content to live in its shadow. Living in THE SHADOW OF a totally releasing place to be..I have freedom to just be ME...knowing I am in His shadow and HE is caring for me...
Rest awhile with me here.

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