Facebook ...Its a funny old thing !!!

FACEBOOK...its a funny old thing is FB...I avoided it for a long time simply because it was yet another techie thing I would have to master...having taken a good 3 years to catch up with texting and get to the stage where I wasn't scared of my mobile phone I kinda thought FB would be even more terrifying. Strangely enough it has been reasonably easy for me to get into it and certainly for last year or so I have become an almost daily Fbooker...

I still have no real understanding of it and can only manage rudimentary working...eg still have no idea of the "chat" or how to upload photos ..but I can post a status and leave comments and view the odd You tube . I have no interest in all the collective add ons..eg..Farmville and can actually block them from appearing on my Homepage...after asking on FB how to do this..!!

So...what does FB give me that attracts me to look at it almost daily...I have thought about this for a while now and have come up with the following Pros and Cons

PROs
*it has brought far away family and friends back into my life ...
*news and views and updates on how people are...
*fun times with crazy status and jokes....
*its a quick way to get a prayer request out to friends...
*the messaging facility is another way to make arrangements with folk...
*photos of family and friends allows me to "see" into their lives....
*keeps me from being bored....
*makes me think about what people write as their status...
*gives me the opportunity to answer a "need" in peoples lives...
*as I work from home it brings the "outside " inside ..if that makes sense...
*asking for info on something in particular..eg eye laser or Ebooks bringing loads of recommendations
*anyone know of a plumber..garage ..mechanic...
*can anyone help with a lift ...meal...babysit...
*reading about church stuff from everyones different perspectives....
*links to blogs....

and I could write more....BUT the Cons....... also open up a whole different set of thoughts that I hadnt bargained on and have given me some things to think about and to work through.

CONS..
*reading about other people's arrangements and gatherings can leave me dis-satisfied with my own social culture...eg...
*seeing pics of someones birthday gathering and wondering why I hadn't been invited...
*sometimes posting a status and no-one comments on it can leave me wondering if people care....
*commenting on someone elses status only to have it misunderstood....
*making a jokey status..which no-one gets......
*reading about everyones comings and goings and feeling as if my life is empty....
*feeling alone.....

I have taken a few breaks from FB over last few months to prove to myself I am NOT actually addicted and I can easily go off on hols and not give it much thought but in my day to day life it seems to play a part ....one of the small struggles I have to contend with is....

I read and "see" many different groups of friends interacting with each other and it seems as if everyone else has a busy and satisfying social sphere than I do..!!and me being a "nosey" type I often read a status about something that I know nothing about and find myself wondering why I dont have that knowledge....

Yep...FB is a funny old thing isnt it?? or is it just me....???

Feeling Tender and Tearful....

Today at this moment I could weep...cant describe how I feel...but know that

"tender " and "tearful"...best describe it... I have been looking at some scriptures to encourage me and have also read Catrina Benhams latest blog about "lift up your eyes...He is the "giver of life " and am beginning to feel slightly better...there is nothing quite like the word of God to bring clarity..comfort and TLC !!

Its been a funny old few days....I had an email from someone who I hardly know suggesting I use a bit of discretion re my Fbook posts...saying that "many of my friends maybe struggling financially " and my posts about how God is blessing us may cause them difficulty. This caused me to have a think and to pray and when Chris and I talked about it we decided that there was no way we could be silent about how much God is blessing us and that praise should always be our lips when God moves in our lives.....Then today ....someone said something like..."well ....I hope you are saving some money " and this again caused me to stop and think....did they think we were being irresponsible??...when in fact we are saving a fair chunk of it and in fact paying off about a third of our mortgage...but somehow or other God is

"pressing it down and causing it to run over "

For decades Chris and I have struggled with debt...and hardly anyone spoke a word to us about it...we hid behind our guilt and shame and tried to get out of our mess so many times but anyone who has the slightest knowledge of debt would know that these chains are well and truly strangling....in every aspect of life. If in any doubt about this..ask any member of the CAP organisation...( Christians Against Poverty )...or come and talk to me...people are very quick to judge when finances are involved and most don't take the time to actually ask people what is going on.

Yes ...God is pouring blessing into our lives.. blessings in ways that we haven't looked for ...and in some ways feel we don't deserve...but after decades of being messed up and 39 months of hard slogging in our IVA when very penny we had was scrutinised by legal people and for most of that time we felt we couldn't be honest with our friends....this is our moment....we are absolutely convinced that God is saying..

"you have worked hard at this and the time to be blessed is NOW"

We are not being irresponsible....we haven't gone out and bought loads of expensive stuff..everything we have bought has been cash and prayed about and chosen carefully...sometimes agonising for weeks...and I was pondering this recently why I was being so indecisive in choosing a car and wallpaper etc and a friend reckoned that it was because for years I had bought with the good old "plastic" and never thought twice about cost but now it was actually "cash" that we were being wise and I realised this was so true...that God had taught us over the last three years to be careful and consider before spending. We have researched each item...from looking at loads of cars...finding out cost of road tax and emissions and carefully compared all the reviews etc to the new sofas we bought ex display for half price....to the choice of wallpaper was narrowed down to a Laura Ashley one at 22.00 per roll to Homebase for 9.00 per roll...and we could easily have afforded to buy the expensive one but chose to be wise and went with the "just as nice " cheaper option.

In all of this we have also been mindful of the scriptures that say

"give and it will be given to you"..
"you reap what you sow "...
"therefor as we have opportunity...let us do good to all people..especially those who belong to the family of believers"...

Perhaps the people who have made comments to us have done so without knowing all the facts...I have always loved the Scripture ...

"rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn"

and always tried to live with this deep in my spirit and recently in our church community and in my friends lives we have done a fair bit of mourning ...but there is also time to rejoice too......Chris and I have given away much of what we have been given ...I listen very carefully to what people share or perhaps put on Fbook and we constantly ask ourselves..can we help and often we find we can ....in many different ways...and I rejoice in this...

our time...
Chris DIY skills..
in helping people...
lending our cars where needed...
buying dishwashers...beds...
giving people toys and buggies....
wiping the slate clean on what others have owed us financially...
encouraging others who may be in debt to ask for help.....
helping our own family with redecorating and holidays...

I wonder if I also sometimes open my mouth without knowing all the facts and judge people ...when I shouldn't ....and for that I ask God to constantly help me with as I know I can be a touch nosey and mouthy...but for us in this season of our lives...

I cant be silent....

My heart and every part of my being is constantly amazed and in awe of how He is dealing with us..with mercy...grace...blessing and love

I cant be silent....

Just as a complete contrast...a friend visited today..one who has known us for many years...she was bringing a totally unepxected gift of money to us....she has known our history and walked with us through a lot of the pain...anyway...she sat on our sofas and had a wee recline and her main comment to me was " This is so lovely..so lovely...you deserve this...you have a lovely home...it is so lovely..." her words were like balm to my soul...you see ..she was rejoicing with us and God was being exalted .

I am going to take my "tenderness" to the one who will bring comfort to me and rest for my soul.

How Do I love Thee....Let me count the ways....

I always wonder when the precise moment arrives when the contents of my mind overflows into a blog post.!!...I seem to go for a fairly longish time with nothing I feel is worth blogging about and then have several bursts in a row.I have been brewing this one for a few days now and even now I have a further one almost ready to pop...

But let me get this one out into cyberspace now ...its all about my hubby. No apologies for the length and contents ....

I have known CJ for approx 38 years...he was a DJ with Edinburgh's most famous mobile disco ...REVOLVA...and yes ..he was known as CJ the DJ.!! My friend Janie and I went to a nightclub called Aquarius and he worked there 5 nights a week....the gang who worked for Revolva all hung out together and we became the disco groupies...I actually went out with 3 of the 7 DJs before I settled on Chris....my diary entry for the days preceding our first kiss read like this..."I quite like Chris..he has a lovely bum"...

It was most unashamedly love at first sight/date...and he proposed to me on our first night out. We were inseparable from the beginning and I can quite honestly say that without him I don't think I would have survived. If you have read my earlier blogs you will know I had a very dysfunctional childhood and rest assured that by the time I was 18 I was pretty much on the road to dysfunctional adulthood too. In short...Chris rescued me...his love for me gave me hope for myself that all was not lost...the biggest and best thing about his love meant that I began to believe I was worth being loved and altho it has taken me many years to grow into a more secure foundation I believe that in the early years the unconditional love that Chris has for me laid the foundations for God to carry on his redemptive work in my heart and soul.
So...as the title of this post says...

How Do I Love Thee..let me count the ways...Chris is...

my friend ..
my lover...
my greatest supporter...
my encourager...
my challenger...
my refuge when life gets too overwhelming...
the one who holds my hand..
the one who hands me tissues when I snot and cry...
the one who rubs my feet when they ache....
the one who brings me cups of tea in bed most mornings...
the one who makes me laugh till I ache....
the one who takes my ideas and turns them into reality...
he makes me complete......
we are a good team..
he gives me freedom to be who I am...
he willingly shares in all that we do...
he is generous with his time....
he always thinks the best of me...
his love for me has never faltered...
he encourages me to dream my dreams....
he lays down his life for me ...
he puts me first....
his one liner jokes are a legend in the family...
he is diligent and faithful...
he tolerates my dog....and walks him daily..
he lets me have control of the remote...
he is a great dad....
he has worked hard all his life ...
he is a servant par excellence in the church community...
he is the calm to my stress...
he is the solid to my fluidity...
he can cook/shop/clean/wash/iron/DIY...(altho he still cant multi task)...
he will be a fantastic grand-dad....
he still has a lovely bum!!...
he is gentle with my fears...
he is confident with my dreams...
he is very competitive but thinks he isn't ...!
he walks slow cos my wee legs cant go fast...
he endures my endless waffling...
he is in love with me.....
and I could go on and on....

He is without doubt THE BEST...

Chris is the major source of joy in my heart...I have a phrase I think of when I think of Chris..."he makes my heart smile"...


Ephesians ch 5 verses 22 onwards calls husbands to "love your wives as Christ loves the church" and if there was a GCSE or A level in this particular scripture then Chris would have got an A*.!!

Please don't get me wrong ..he isn't perfect and we have had our share of arguments and some serious fall outs along the way but today I cant think of any other scenario than spending the rest of our life together . He is the only one I want to grow old with and I am asking God to bring truth to the phrase "the best is yet to come" .

We are in the very best years of our lives..our children are all grown up..and seem to be doing great in their own lives.....we are incredibly blessed that our family unit spends time together and there have been no serious rifts along the way...we have a great circle of friends and belong to a church community that we love and altho the future seems uncertain with regard to his work situation we are secure in the knowledge that whatever comes our way we will face it strong.!

I often read about couples celebrating 40/50/60 years of marriage and my prayer and hope is that we will be like that...what a great thing to be together for a lifetime and I cant imagine life without Chris..we may take each other for granted at times..we may lose sight of our together-ness every now and then..we may even have fall outs but I am convinced that we will uphold our marriage vows till "death us do part" and believe wholeheartedly in the phrase "and that which God has joined together let no man separate"

Chris and I have this wee one liner that we often say to each other that sums us up ..

We fit together so well"

Answers On a Post Card Please

Its been a funny old week...we continue to be amazed at the way in which God is blessing us financially....Today we had a further cheque through from the PPI...endless blessings from the floodgates....and thus more to give away too.

I love my Zafira.....and we have been able to re-decorate as mentioned in previous blog..plus book ourselves a 3 day treat to the Isle of Wight in a beach front hotel with balcony and view over the sea.....and the fact that Chris hasn't had to "work " his notice apart from the odd day has meant he can do all the re-decorating in the day time .

Chris has also heard from the pension folk and he has been given the go ahead to retire early from 1st October and the pension payable is about what we thought...and it means the pressure is off him to get a hugely well paid job with same kind of income he is on now so he can relax a little and take some time to hear what God is saying with regard to his future employment. We also heard he has a lump sum payable to him too on 1st October which will allow us to replace his old car and to pay off a chunk of our mortgage thus bringing down our monthly repayment so all in all the floodgates are still open above The Mooneys.

In all of this I am still perplexed re what God has in store for me personally....I am a self employed full time Personal Assistant to the wonderful young man I care for...and I also childmind...slowly but surely my childminding has dropped off and despite thinking I had a sure thing with a new family I didn't get the contract....then yesterday I saw another family but haven't got that contract either and then today I heard that the wee boy I presently childmind and positively adore will be heading off to sunnier places and I will be left with no children at all....

So...what is God saying to me...I have always 100% believed that God has always brought me the right child...right family...at the right time over the last 10 years and therefor was quite surprised when a recent family decided not to use me...I get calls/emails fairly regularly yet not actually being activated...so...QUESTION IS...

1) Has God got the very best child / family waiting in the wings for me??
2) Is God saying ..time to stop childminding??
3) or lay it down for a while and see what happens..??

So...those of you with prophetic gifting...the gift of encouragement ....or a word to bring light into situation...

ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE..!!

The Floodgates of Heaven

Malachi Ch 3 verse 5 onwards have always been a tough read for The Mooneys...anyone knowing us over the last 26 plus years will know our journey through debt...which got progressively tougher and tougher in the last 5 years ending with us entering an IVA...this was a "last resort" for us.We drew a line in the spiritual sand and prayed ..."God..we are desperate to break free from this
life- threatening bondage of debt " Anyone who has been on the brink of financial ruin will know just how dark the times get when Bankruptcy is peeking round the corner and there is no way out.

IVAs are designed to keep people out of the Bankruptcy court and they get to keep any property/houses etc and ensures the creditors get some kind of payment rather than none at all as it would be in Bankruptcy. We still had to go to court and bare all to the Insolvency Practitioner and this has to be the most degrading and embarrassing moment in our lives. For 39 months out of the 60 allocated to us we "religiously" paid over our 700.00 each month and had all our expenditure examined with a fine tooth comb and had to ask for basic increases eg insurance for our dog ....we learned to work to a strict budget and as all credit was now no longer available this meant a huge change in our attitudes.

It was tough for the first 2 years as we kept it a secret from everyone as the shame and guilt was way too much to share with others....then when Chris was threatened with redundancy we realised we would have to "come clean" as if the axe fell how would we then explain our subsequent IVA failing meaning Bankruptcy and losing our home. Telling people was really hard but we were re-assured by most that we were still loved and accepted and the rest of the IVA was so much easier to get through. The most amazing things began to happen and if you have followed my blog you will know all about things like...unexpected tax rebates...holidays paid for...our trip to Willow Creek and so much more.

As I said in the opening sentence we have always struggled with the Malachi passage...over all the years we have been led by Ben D this passage was almost one of his favourites to preach from and it seemed as if it was salt on a raw wound. We have rarely tithed as scripture states but have always given as best as we could. We decided early on we would try and never let the basket go by on Sundays and even if its only a one pound coin we have given as and when we could. For gift days we have prayed and given when God has prompted and we have given gifts of money to others ..again as we have been prompted and enabled. We have always been as generous with our time and serving God as much as we could in many different ways which has helped us not to feel any condemnation with not fully tithing. In the IVA time we would have been unable to tithe as the IP would have laughed at us if we said we wanted to give a tenth of our income to the church ...But God didnt laugh at us...I believe He knew our hearts and our spirit and even though we were not fully in line with scripture He blessed us anyway... God is a good God...all the time..not just when we are being good but just becuase He loves us totally and fully exactly how we are. I sometimes think I should have kept a log book stating how many times we knew God was at work...not just financial blessings but in the many other ways we sensed God was with us....I am so sure that we could never outgive God..in any way.

The Floodgates of Heaven ....

The first of 3 "miracles " happened for us near the end of last year when Chris was given a consultancy role over in Milan which netted us a substantial amount of money which we immediately earmarked for Cat and Nick and their baby journey. The second miracle happened when we were able to offer a "Full and Final" payment to the IVA which meant our IVA completed .. 20 months earlier than planned....The third miracle happened when Cat and Nick conceived their baby ..which is now due in November.

Since the beginning of the year we have continued to "give" and to bless others as we waited for the IVA wheels to grind to a halt and for us to know what we actually had in terms of money...and then the redundancy axe finally fell on Chris re his job and he officially stops work end of September with a mere pittance for his redundancy package which if we are careful with it will last us to end of the year before we need to panic.! (I am being sarcastic with the word Panic..as .....)

We have such peace about this...we have no real idea what plans God has in store for Chris..we have a couple of ideas which he will pursue but until we know for certain we are just hanging out in the Kingdom. Whenever we have prayed we have heard God say quite clearly..

"He will never leave us or forsake us "
"I have never let you down yet "
"The best is yet to come "

and this is so true...even when we were dead in the sin of debt God was still there....I want Chris to do somethng which will satisfy him rather than just earn a wage...He has never been out of work before...never claimed any government benefits....worked hard all his working life to support our family and for the remaining years he has (he isnt old..only 58 so I am assuming many years ) I am asking God to bless him with the desires of his heart.....

Even now....we are still being blessed financially and in so many other ways ........Totally out of the blue we have had some bank fees repaid to us which has been way more than we were led to believe thus allowing us to replace our car and do a fair bit of work in Cat and Nicks house as well as redecorate one of our rooms and to bless a couple of others too...and to keep on giving as the basket goes round.

Its strange that even tho I have struggled personally with other issues this year I can still stand in awe of how God has opened The Floodgates of Heaven and poured out a blessing ... God is good all the time. In the year 2010 so far The Mooneys are so grateful and thankful for ....

An end to the IVA early....
Lump sum available for Cat and Nick....
One off payment to IVA....
New baby due..so excited to be Granny and Granddad Mooney...
New car...
Holiday to The Algarve..paid for completely by cash....
Family times that have brought great joy....
Refunds of PPI..exceeded what we thought....
Being able to put money in the offering basket each time it passed us by...
Blessing others and being blessed....
Good friends who have stood with us through it all...
Church community allowing us to be open.....
No condemnation.....
Chris having 3 month "notice" which he doesn't actually have to work...
Redundancy package ..which altho not much will keep us going ,....
A sense that God has our future firmly in our hands....
My income and job being as secure as self employment can be.....
My job being so enjoyable and satisfying....
Middle son continuing to stay at home which allows us to benefit from his rent...
Chris being able to take up golf....and having the money for him to do so....
The desire to buy buy buy has gone completely.....
Any form of credit not being available for another 2 years....Temptation removed...
Continued faith that God has our future in His hands....

The biggest blessing in all of this for us is the prospect of becoming Grandparents...No words can describe the feelings we have when we look at Cat and Nick and know that only God can have brought this to pass....He is the creator of all life and I am left in adoration.

Oh yes....The Floodgates of Heaven are well and truly open above The Mooneys.

Dislocation Part Two

DISLOCATION.....I have been thinking about this "feeling" for some time and trying to get it clear in my mind before blogging...I know what I want to say but not sure if I can get it into words that will make sense. A few months ago I was pretty much busy busy busy !! and I love that feeling when it sometimes feels as if you want the "bus to stop and let you off" but truly you are getting such a kick out of being in the centre of Gods purposes..so even if the bus stopped you wouldn't choose to get off.!!

I have thought back over the decades I have been a Christian and a part of my church community and realised that much of my spiritual life has been busy busy busy and it is in these seasons that a fair bit of my Spiritual growth has taken place. When I initiated the Deaf Ministry and later launched Kerith Kids and helped launch Hilltop...my life was incredibly busy and incredibly active and incredibly fulfilling. To get a ministry up and running meant tons of prayer...tons of scripture...tons of meetings..tons of contacts with the unchurched and unsaved and tons of ongoing support and interaction with church leaders and elders as well as amazing spiritual connection with others as teams were built on solid foundations. Several of my closest and oldest buddies had the birthing of our friendships during these intense times as we met...served..worked..prayed...cried...together on a mission to open the doors of our church community to those who were at that time (22years ago) largely ignored by churches all over the nation. I was also raising a family of three children and married to the best husband in the world so every part of our lives were busy busy busy not just Sundays.

In this last 2-3 years I once again found myself leading a ministry... (well.... I called it a ministry )...My ongoing vision statement was..."car parking isn't about cars it is about people " and I sensed the Spiritual side to this over the months as I built and encouraged team members...prayed...met with leaders and generally was busy busy busy that I was once more in a season of growth and looking back I realise that God was showing me much about myself as well as growing me in grace and mercy. With meeting other ministry leaders on a regular basis and fortnightly meetings with my "line manager " I prospered in many ways as rough edges were smoothed and encouragement to grow and to trust and to expect God to answer prayer was a regular feature in this busy busy busy time. The most significantly different part of this season of busy busy busy was that I was no longer raising the three children..they were pretty much raised !! and therefor the ministry busy-ness filled much more of my life than before...altho being the wife of still the best husband in the world meant I did carve some time out...that is when he wasn't being busy busy busy in his serving. Some of my best memories of the car parking ministry were times we served together..some weddings..funerals..and conferences...this was such a great time when we worked together to bless the church community.

For many reasons I laid down this ministry at the end of March...I so wish I could have the January to March months of that time back as I didn't finish well and I am cross with myself about that...it has taken me a while to move on from that particular pit. But here I am with no busy busy busy and boy am I dislocated. ....

I miss the hustle and bustle...
I miss the meetings...
I miss the interaction..
I miss my "line manager"
I miss the prayer...
I miss the encouragement..
I miss the thank yous...
I miss the emails...
I miss the questions...
I miss the weekly numbers info...
I miss being in the office....
I miss my teams...
I miss shaping the car parking for the future....
I miss being part of conference planning....
I miss the early mornings...
I miss blessing people...
I miss the challenges...
I miss sometimes getting info before other people..!!
I miss being in the centre of Gods purposes....

I miss......I miss......I miss.....

The "dislocation" feelings come directly as a part of the "missing" ....all of the busy busy busy- ness just dried up overnight..meetings stopped..emails stopped..questions stopped....planning stopped...serving stopped...it felt as if I had kinda disappeared of the radar....and I still miss all of it....especially the personal involvement and contacts....

I have been immersing myself in scripture and reading books and listening to some teaching CDs from ALM ...some of which has been painful to take on board but I know this is a time to believe that God has my future in His hands....Psalm 18 has been a tremendous help to me as well as some of the songs we have learned recently in church. As I have written this posting I am grateful for the feeling that the season of dislocation is passing and God has my days planned out for me..."to prosper and not to harm me" and I am therefor content in my "missing" if that makes sense.!!

Dislocated

Dislocated ...a word that has been buzzing around in my spirit for some time...I had planned to do a fair bit of blogging after my last entry and have been appalled by the fact it has been weeks since I last posted. I have so much "stuff" taking root in my head I thought blogging about it all would enable me to make sense of it all....but every time I thought I had a handle on the next entry it would just disappear again.

I have felt "dislocated"...weird word I know to describe what may just be blogging block.! The Oxford Dictionary says this of the word DISLOCATE =
1)disturb the normal connection....
2)disrupt..put out of order...
3)displace....

I have been trying to understand what I have been feeling and this word kept coming up in my mind...I have felt "dislocated"...and for last few weeks been trying to get my head..heart and spirit around this....

I attended the Unique Women's Conference at the weekend ...REAL...and several things happened during this time that have helped me to crystallize what I have been feeling. I am taking some time to process all that has been said and all that I experienced there and am feeling slightly more confident that I will be able to blog a bit more sensibly over next few days.

On a different note....Two major pieces of info to impart to anyone interested enough to follow my family sagas....Cat and Nick are now almost 21 weeks pregnant with a son.!! How amazing is that..God is the miracle maker and has blessed this family with this new life and I am a Granny -in -Waiting....and at the other end of the news spectrum...Chris my gorgeous hubby has finally got the date for his impending redundancy...his last day of full time work will be 30th Sept 2010. We are not surprised and in some ways its a relief as this has been hanging over us for almost 2 years. We feel excited by the future and praying that God will open doors for him to have a great role in whatever employment God has in store for him. Financially we wont panic till the end of the year..so ask me again nearer that time if we are still excited (!).