Shadow Of Victory

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Feeling Tender and Tearful....

Today at this moment I could weep...cant describe how I feel...but know that

"tender " and "tearful"...best describe it... I have been looking at some scriptures to encourage me and have also read Catrina Benhams latest blog about "lift up your eyes...He is the "giver of life " and am beginning to feel slightly better...there is nothing quite like the word of God to bring clarity..comfort and TLC !!

Its been a funny old few days....I had an email from someone who I hardly know suggesting I use a bit of discretion re my Fbook posts...saying that "many of my friends maybe struggling financially " and my posts about how God is blessing us may cause them difficulty. This caused me to have a think and to pray and when Chris and I talked about it we decided that there was no way we could be silent about how much God is blessing us and that praise should always be our lips when God moves in our lives.....Then today ....someone said something like..."well ....I hope you are saving some money " and this again caused me to stop and think....did they think we were being irresponsible??...when in fact we are saving a fair chunk of it and in fact paying off about a third of our mortgage...but somehow or other God is

"pressing it down and causing it to run over "

For decades Chris and I have struggled with debt...and hardly anyone spoke a word to us about it...we hid behind our guilt and shame and tried to get out of our mess so many times but anyone who has the slightest knowledge of debt would know that these chains are well and truly strangling....in every aspect of life. If in any doubt about this..ask any member of the CAP organisation...( Christians Against Poverty )...or come and talk to me...people are very quick to judge when finances are involved and most don't take the time to actually ask people what is going on.

Yes ...God is pouring blessing into our lives.. blessings in ways that we haven't looked for ...and in some ways feel we don't deserve...but after decades of being messed up and 39 months of hard slogging in our IVA when very penny we had was scrutinised by legal people and for most of that time we felt we couldn't be honest with our friends....this is our moment....we are absolutely convinced that God is saying..

"you have worked hard at this and the time to be blessed is NOW"


We are not being irresponsible....we haven't gone out and bought loads of expensive stuff..everything we have bought has been cash and prayed about and chosen carefully...sometimes agonising for weeks...and I was pondering this recently why I was being so indecisive in choosing a car and wallpaper etc and a friend reckoned that it was because for years I had bought with the good old "plastic" and never thought twice about cost but now it was actually "cash" that we were being wise and I realised this was so true...that God had taught us over the last three years to be careful and consider before spending. We have researched each item...from looking at loads of cars...finding out cost of road tax and emissions and carefully compared all the reviews etc to the new sofas we bought ex display for half price....to the choice of wallpaper was narrowed down to a Laura Ashley one at 22.00 per roll to Homebase for 9.00 per roll...and we could easily have afforded to buy the expensive one but chose to be wise and went with the "just as nice " cheaper option.

In all of this we have also been mindful of the scriptures that say

"give and it will be given to you"..
"you reap what you sow "...
"therefor as we have opportunity...let us do good to all people..especially those who belong to the family of believers"...


Perhaps the people who have made comments to us have done so without knowing all the facts...I have always loved the Scripture ...

"rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn"

and always tried to live with this deep in my spirit and recently in our church community and in my friends lives we have done a fair bit of mourning ...but there is also time to rejoice too......Chris and I have given away much of what we have been given ...I listen very carefully to what people share or perhaps put on Fbook and we constantly ask ourselves..can we help and often we find we can ....in many different ways...and I rejoice in this...

our time...
Chris DIY skills..
in helping people...
lending our cars where needed...
buying dishwashers...beds...
giving people toys and buggies....
wiping the slate clean on what others have owed us financially...
encouraging others who may be in debt to ask for help.....
helping our own family with redecorating and holidays...

I wonder if I also sometimes open my mouth without knowing all the facts and judge people ...when I shouldn't ....and for that I ask God to constantly help me with as I know I can be a touch nosey and mouthy...but for us in this season of our lives...

I cant be silent....

My heart and every part of my being is constantly amazed and in awe of how He is dealing with us..with mercy...grace...blessing and love

I cant be silent....

Just as a complete contrast...a friend visited today..one who has known us for many years...she was bringing a totally unepxected gift of money to us....she has known our history and walked with us through a lot of the pain...anyway...she sat on our sofas and had a wee recline and her main comment to me was " This is so lovely..so lovely...you deserve this...you have a lovely home...it is so lovely..." her words were like balm to my soul...you see ..she was rejoicing with us and God was being exalted .

I am going to take my "tenderness" to the one who will bring comfort to me and rest for my soul.

3 comments:

Geri said...

How exciting it is to hear when God blesses people you love! I remember once being censored while relating the amazing way God sorted out Nicky's secondary school in a practice sermon, being told, what about the others who didn't get the schools they wanted for their childern. I was quick to point out that we asked for God to get Nicky into the right school for him, and it just so happened that time it was also the one we had in mind. Adam got our 3rd choice school, but it has turned out to be right for him.
God blesses us in HIS way, which is not always ours, and is not always the same for other people. The amazing thing about having a personal God is just that - He knows us and loves us and wants the best for us. And yes, He rewards us when we are faithful, and your faithfulness Irene is apparent in every aspect of your life. I would love to wave a magic wand and have the bathroom redone (a job on the list for about 3 years now!) but I know God is trying to help me learn to be happy with all I have, and not dwell on what I don't. We are all in different places all the time. God knows that, and we need to remember it when we are dealing with others.

glynne said...

Wow irene I am so blessed to call you a friend and know that you are blessed to be a blessing. I do thank God that God is showering you at this time. Can I say that for many mnay years Peter and I had nothing and though I am still so sad at his death - even if still a little angry as well - I know that I can now sometimes bless others where I have never been able before. You are such an encouragement and keep your head high xxx
Glynne

Caroline said...

Write what YOU want... both in your great blogs and on FB. It's for others to decide if they want to read it, and if they don't LIKE it... tough!
I refuse to be tongue tied by others (although I admit to being less open than some - like, I don't swear in print as much as others feel ok about doing hahaha).

Stopping reading your backblogs now or I'll (again!) never get stuff done! Woman!
x