At the recommendation from Ruth I am reading this book....
Sun...Stand Still by Steven Furtick
I have it on my Kindle and have been reading it whilst at the gym....doing my mile on treadmill...2 miles on the bike is boring but since discovering my Kindle fits the handy ledge on the controls it has been so much more bearable. I tell myself I am getting fitter physically and also spiritually too.!!
Usually I swim after my 40 mins in gym and it gives me time to ponder the chapter or two I have read so its been a great way to get this book into my system and it really has caught me ...more so than any other Christian book in a long time.
The main theme of the book is all about FAITH....and he uses the phrase...AUDACIOUS FAITH....and it is extremely challenging in may ways . The chapter I read this morning at the gym has been echo-ing around my mind all day and perhaps writing about it will help me to process it more.
Just to give you a brief explanation ...it is based on Joshua Chapter 10..when God causes the sun to stand still and delay going down.....Joshua prayed and God answered. Its a bit of a simplistic explanation but if you read the context you will know what kind of audacious prayer this was....and how God answered with a miracle.
In Chapter 13 of the book Steven writes about "When the sun goes down"....what do we do when the sun doesn't stand still for us
and talks about what happens when we pray ...in faith...but God doesn't give us a miracle. This chapter should be compulsory reading for us all...how to keep on...press on..keep believing...keep praying...keep hoping...keep having faith...even when the sun goes down on our prayer.!!
But what caught me even more in this chapter is ..he talks about the 40 years Joshua spent in the wilderness along with the rest of that generation...yes he had the privilege of leading the charge into the promised land but he still had to endure the wilderness...not his fault...nor was it his lack of faith....so Joshua didn't get to inherit the promise for a very long...long ...long time. Steven uses the phrase...
"Joshua spent a large part of his life living in the shadow of a setback "
He then asks the reader ....
"Maybe you are living in a similar shadow ....maybe you thought you would be closer to completing your life's goals by now...maybe you have done your part ...but something snuck up from behind and knocked you cold.....these seasons of setback can be fatal to your faith...its easy to lose your faith when the sun goes down and you can easily slip into a deep spiritual sleep in an attempt to escape the pain !
I think the words...living in the shadows....is what leaped out at me and has been resonating with me all day...the title of my blog is .."The Shadow of Victory" and has been all about living the life of faith whilst still not knowing complete freedom and healing and in a recent blog I shared that in one or two areas I have believed that I have begun to step out of the shadow and search for the sun. I know for sure that debt is a thing of the past and know that God certainly made the sun stand still for us when we were able to pay off our IVA...the sun stood still yet again when Chris was made redundant and very soon after he was able to semi retire and work two days per week at the church...for him this was most definitely a sun stand still miracle....I saw another sun stand still moment on the day Elisha was born...after such a long hard journey Cat and Nick experienced their own
sun stand still moment and we get to share in this every day.!
Finally...I am still experiencing a sun stand still moment....or season...in my own life with regards to the Gastric Bypass I had earlier this year. Similar to Joshua who had 40 years of desert wanderings...I have also struggled in the whole area of weight for almost 40 years and I can assure you it has been a desert of immense proportions. It wasn't the easiest of decisions to have the surgery and it certainly isn't the easy way out...it has been a hard slog over the last few months to get to grips with the new way of eating and how it affects my life in every way but I am getting there...the sun most definitely stood still for me and after decades of living under the shadow I am slowly but surely stepping into the sunlight and feeling the warmth of the sunrise. It feels good...it feels right...it feels strong...it feels like a miracle.! My very own sun stand still miracle .
Going back to the title of the chapter..." When The Sun Goes Down"...for me I thought that the sun had gone down on these areas of my life...I thought we would always be in debt ...I thought I would always struggle with my weight...I thought that the shadow was as good as I was going to get...and in some ways I settled for it....yet still...every now and then I would cry out to God...help me....help me...help me...I used to take certain verses from the bible about "persevering" and "pressing on" and use them as reasons to keep going. I deeply identify with the words that Steven uses about a "deep spiritual depression that is used to escape the pain"... only those who have known the shame of crippling debt and those who have known suicidal thoughts that decades of struggling with my weight can truly know how much I believed that the "sun had already gone down " The older I got the more I thought that it was too late ...and yet here I am ...today knowing without any doubt ...that
God caused the Sun to Stand Still long enough for me to step out of the shadow...
Shadow Of Victory
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
Friday, 15 July 2011
Here I am again.....
Hello....I wonder if anyone is still reading this,...I seem to have lost the art of blogging...actually my jolly laptop is a pain in the butt for typing and I have restricted access to the main computer in the study as it is now Chris domain. BUT...Here I am....
Life is moving on so swiftly this year I am not going to attempt to "catch up " so will just summarise as best I can. ...
1) Being a Granny is simply the best thing ever...cant believe how much fun the wee boy is...Chris and I are totally besotted with him and we feel so blessed to have almost daily hands on time with him....Cat and Nick are so generous with him. He is now 8 months old and Cat goes back to work soon *sigh* it has been so special having her and the wee boy around so much . I also get to childmind him too so will be in dual Granny /Childminder role from August.
2) I have just finished an 8 week study module called MORPH....it actually took us all 10 months to complete but in that time we all grew closer to God and to each other....I can thoroughly recommend anyone to have a MORPH group. We have so enjoyed our time together ..meeting weekly to share lunch and time together that we are going to pick up again in September.
3) I have begun to "serve" again in church and enjoyed a couple of stewarding roles in last few months and have also started to get re-involved with Sparklers...our parent and todds group which started a new session on Monday afternoons....I have enjoyed being a singer and a story teller and a craft maker .
I have realised that there are 2 main areas of my life which have
"come out from under the shadow of victory " The title of my blog is THE SHADOW OF VICTORY ... and way back in beginning I think I listed areas in which I was still struggling and wondering if I would ever be free...yet continuing to press on towards the finishing line....
Firstly....our finances....we have been debt free for almost 20 months now and it really is the most liberating experience ever....from decades of owing money and never thinking we would ever see the day...it has been the best 20 months ever. God has opened the "windows of heaven " and we have seen such blessing come our way...pressed down and spilling over into others lives too.
Secondly.... my life long struggle with my weight which has hindered me in so many ways has come to an end. In February I underwent Bariatric Surgery and had a Gastric Bypass. This was a long and involved journey which included counselling and numerous appointments to ensure I was healthy enough ( in every way ) to undergo the procedure. So far I have dropped approx 5 stone in weight and have about 3 more to go to get to a healthy BMI....It means that I have had to completely revisit my relationship with food and this has been a turning point in many aspects of my life...physical ..emotional and spiritual....more of this in another blog.
Writing is once more becoming a focus for me and I have begun to journal again and to ensure I read and write more I have designed a wee corner of our bedroom with a comfy basket chair and a cupboard to keep all my junk in ..to entice me to visit it more and to just be there ...Time spent with a journal and my bible is precious and much needed.
Life is moving on so swiftly this year I am not going to attempt to "catch up " so will just summarise as best I can. ...
1) Being a Granny is simply the best thing ever...cant believe how much fun the wee boy is...Chris and I are totally besotted with him and we feel so blessed to have almost daily hands on time with him....Cat and Nick are so generous with him. He is now 8 months old and Cat goes back to work soon *sigh* it has been so special having her and the wee boy around so much . I also get to childmind him too so will be in dual Granny /Childminder role from August.
2) I have just finished an 8 week study module called MORPH....it actually took us all 10 months to complete but in that time we all grew closer to God and to each other....I can thoroughly recommend anyone to have a MORPH group. We have so enjoyed our time together ..meeting weekly to share lunch and time together that we are going to pick up again in September.
3) I have begun to "serve" again in church and enjoyed a couple of stewarding roles in last few months and have also started to get re-involved with Sparklers...our parent and todds group which started a new session on Monday afternoons....I have enjoyed being a singer and a story teller and a craft maker .
I have realised that there are 2 main areas of my life which have
"come out from under the shadow of victory " The title of my blog is THE SHADOW OF VICTORY ... and way back in beginning I think I listed areas in which I was still struggling and wondering if I would ever be free...yet continuing to press on towards the finishing line....
Firstly....our finances....we have been debt free for almost 20 months now and it really is the most liberating experience ever....from decades of owing money and never thinking we would ever see the day...it has been the best 20 months ever. God has opened the "windows of heaven " and we have seen such blessing come our way...pressed down and spilling over into others lives too.
Secondly.... my life long struggle with my weight which has hindered me in so many ways has come to an end. In February I underwent Bariatric Surgery and had a Gastric Bypass. This was a long and involved journey which included counselling and numerous appointments to ensure I was healthy enough ( in every way ) to undergo the procedure. So far I have dropped approx 5 stone in weight and have about 3 more to go to get to a healthy BMI....It means that I have had to completely revisit my relationship with food and this has been a turning point in many aspects of my life...physical ..emotional and spiritual....more of this in another blog.
Writing is once more becoming a focus for me and I have begun to journal again and to ensure I read and write more I have designed a wee corner of our bedroom with a comfy basket chair and a cupboard to keep all my junk in ..to entice me to visit it more and to just be there ...Time spent with a journal and my bible is precious and much needed.
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Unwritten Blog Entries
Wow...cant believe its been so long since I last blogged...so much has happened that to attempt to catch up will take far too long but suffice to say I have had several entries brewing but for one reason or another I havent got them down .
Here is my attempt to catch up with myself .
In 2006 a series of sermons was preached by Simon which radically challenged me and helped me to move forward . The "catch phrase" was something along the lines of....
"Everyone is going somewhere but few will reach their destination on purpose"
This prompted me in the following 2 years to get a grip of my life in several different ways....I lost weight....I wrote and published a children's book....I got fit in both the physical and the spiritual sense and began to exercise long dormant spiritual gifts which manifested in leading a ministry . I truly believed I had begun to live "with purpose"
For several reasons the momentum got lost and by the end of 2010 I was at my lowest ebb ever....I had lost my way and there was certainly little "purpose" . For the last 2-3 months I have been searching for a way back and struggling to fund my purpose again. ....and I believe I am almost there with the strategies I am putting in place for this next season of life and there is a small bubble of excitement rising within my spirit as well as sheer terror.!!!
I wanted to write about several women who have helped me to face up to the
" drifting " which seemed to be taking me over and to express gratitude for the unasked for help they have unwittingly given me...its amazing how peoples lives and the way they lead it can help change lives ..perhaps even without their knowledge.
1)An old friend who over last year has re-surfaced in my life ....SF....I am constantly amazed at the way in which she lives her life....and altho some of the things she is doing..eg Scuba diving and Bell ringing...I have no urge to copy but just the sheer diversity of her life makes mine a living contrast in boredom. I am in awe of her.
2)A young woman RB....who is an "Audacious Dreamer"...she has a dream and a vision and is risking her self to move into what she knows God wants her to do....I see a little bit of myself from 25 years ago when I too had audacious dreams ...spiritual dreams of a church community where Deaf people were integrated ...Families with children who have special needs having a place to come and be welcomed ...Adults with Disability knowing that God cares for them......I had big dreams and stepped out in faith and pushed the boundaries of our thinking and this young woman is doing the same....I am in awe of her.
3)Another friend who has challenged me is ST...for the time I have known her ...and it must be around 25 years... she has lived with Bi-polar....She is one of the strongest people I know in that she lives determined to press on and the way in which she shares and is vulnerable and aims to educate people about mental health issues is truly a testimony to how God is using her even when she feels at her weakest....I am in awe of her.
4)The final woman who has influenced me so much in this "empty" season is my daughter CK...in the face of huge issues in her life she has walked and lived with endurance and faith and a knowledge that God has a plan and purpose for her life...as sure as she lives and breathes she was born to be who she is...and I am in awe of her.
I could continue to list other women who have influenced me but these are the ones who have brought a recent and fresh challenge in to my life....So....where am I going with this....I will blog soon about what I am hoping will be a life changing event happening in next few days.....but for the moment this is what I am hoping and praying for..... I have taken a little from each of these womens lives and am asking God to give me a little of what they have....
1)I am looking for fresh things to get involved with..both in church community but also in life generally...
2)I am beginning to dream again...not audaciously but just a gentle stirring..
3)I am going to continue to be open and vulnerable and expect God to use me even when I am weak
4)I am going to be strong...even when I have huge issues to face.
If you are continuing to read my blog....May you know Gods huge blessing upon your lives and experience a freshness in your spirit.
Here is my attempt to catch up with myself .
In 2006 a series of sermons was preached by Simon which radically challenged me and helped me to move forward . The "catch phrase" was something along the lines of....
"Everyone is going somewhere but few will reach their destination on purpose"
This prompted me in the following 2 years to get a grip of my life in several different ways....I lost weight....I wrote and published a children's book....I got fit in both the physical and the spiritual sense and began to exercise long dormant spiritual gifts which manifested in leading a ministry . I truly believed I had begun to live "with purpose"
For several reasons the momentum got lost and by the end of 2010 I was at my lowest ebb ever....I had lost my way and there was certainly little "purpose" . For the last 2-3 months I have been searching for a way back and struggling to fund my purpose again. ....and I believe I am almost there with the strategies I am putting in place for this next season of life and there is a small bubble of excitement rising within my spirit as well as sheer terror.!!!
I wanted to write about several women who have helped me to face up to the
" drifting " which seemed to be taking me over and to express gratitude for the unasked for help they have unwittingly given me...its amazing how peoples lives and the way they lead it can help change lives ..perhaps even without their knowledge.
1)An old friend who over last year has re-surfaced in my life ....SF....I am constantly amazed at the way in which she lives her life....and altho some of the things she is doing..eg Scuba diving and Bell ringing...I have no urge to copy but just the sheer diversity of her life makes mine a living contrast in boredom. I am in awe of her.
2)A young woman RB....who is an "Audacious Dreamer"...she has a dream and a vision and is risking her self to move into what she knows God wants her to do....I see a little bit of myself from 25 years ago when I too had audacious dreams ...spiritual dreams of a church community where Deaf people were integrated ...Families with children who have special needs having a place to come and be welcomed ...Adults with Disability knowing that God cares for them......I had big dreams and stepped out in faith and pushed the boundaries of our thinking and this young woman is doing the same....I am in awe of her.
3)Another friend who has challenged me is ST...for the time I have known her ...and it must be around 25 years... she has lived with Bi-polar....She is one of the strongest people I know in that she lives determined to press on and the way in which she shares and is vulnerable and aims to educate people about mental health issues is truly a testimony to how God is using her even when she feels at her weakest....I am in awe of her.
4)The final woman who has influenced me so much in this "empty" season is my daughter CK...in the face of huge issues in her life she has walked and lived with endurance and faith and a knowledge that God has a plan and purpose for her life...as sure as she lives and breathes she was born to be who she is...and I am in awe of her.
I could continue to list other women who have influenced me but these are the ones who have brought a recent and fresh challenge in to my life....So....where am I going with this....I will blog soon about what I am hoping will be a life changing event happening in next few days.....but for the moment this is what I am hoping and praying for..... I have taken a little from each of these womens lives and am asking God to give me a little of what they have....
1)I am looking for fresh things to get involved with..both in church community but also in life generally...
2)I am beginning to dream again...not audaciously but just a gentle stirring..
3)I am going to continue to be open and vulnerable and expect God to use me even when I am weak
4)I am going to be strong...even when I have huge issues to face.
If you are continuing to read my blog....May you know Gods huge blessing upon your lives and experience a freshness in your spirit.
Monday, 13 December 2010
DEAR SANTA
Its that time of year again and Christmas is fast approaching. In our family Christmas has always been a great time not just because we celebrate the birth of our Saviour but also because we all love to be together and to do fun stuff. As I have thought back over the many Christmas times we have shared I am again reminded of how blessed we are as a family...we have no feuds going on...no nasty relatives...no unresolved arguments....no unforgiveness....
Please don't think for one moment we are the golden family...far from it...we have a couple of rattly skeletons hanging around our past but have worked hard together as a family to keep going and pressing through so that the love and grace and peace of Jesus keeps us bonded together.
One thing we have always done each year at this time is Chris and I write a letter to Santa...we started to do this at the same time as each of the kids wrote theirs. It has carried on as a sort of family joke...I say stuff like....
"I believe in Santa...always have and always will...there has to be a Santa cos otherwise how do I get all the stuff on my list"
So...on 1st December I write my letter..sit it on a shelf in living room and it disappears(!) within hours and lo and behold ....pressies appear under the tree on Christmas morning. I know (!) that the kids still secretly believe that Santa exists as why would they be asking me if I have written my letter yet..!!! In fact there are times I wonder about my kids as they often tell me "the elves been busy."
Christmas traditions can make the very best memories and as a family we have somehow or other made a few that have outlasted childhood...
Always a real tree...chosen with care..not too fat not too thin...just right..
Always wait till 1st Dec before we talk or plan Christmas..
Always wait till 1st Dec to play Christmas music..
Always try and be together...may not actually be on the day as each child has grown and made their own families ...but somehow we still manage a day when we celebrate our time together...
Always try to go to church together if we are home for Christmas.
Always have crackers and wear the hats and tell the jokes
Always play the game "what colour is your hat "
Always stay up till after midnight on Christmas eve...and I get to open one pressie before I go to bed...
Always walk the dogs....
Always watch a new DVD together....or The Royle Family on TV.
Always have our pudding in the evening...never at the table..
So many other things we have done together...either every year or for a season depending on how old the children were. A couple of lasting memories and traditions we have passed on to our children ..it has been so lovely watching and taking part in their own versions ....
Disguising the pressie...if a really small pressie...wrap it up in huge box or multiple layers.
Hiding the pressie and have them hunt it out with clues.
Using scrabble letters to spell it out...I remember the year we booked Mike on to an Oak Hall Ski trip and used an M&M wee toy...the M&M man was on skis ...big clue...and we emptied the sweets and put in scrabble letter spelling out Oak Hall Ski Trip....took him ages to get it and when he did.....he burst into tears...and bear in mind he was 19 at the time.!
So...each year ..1st Dec my letter would be written.It rarely had any surprises.....usually a couple of books..a CD...some perfume ..smellies...writing paper...and yay for Santa my wee bundle under the tree would be..a couple of books ..a CD...some perfume and smellies and writing paper.!!
This year it is now the 13th Dec and I still have not written my letter to Santa..Chris has done his and the Elves have spirited it away and are no doubt busy busy busy....and I guess they are getting a bit frustrated that my letter has still not appeared. I woke this morning with the reason why I haven't written my letter so clear in my mind. I still believe (!) in Santa I still believe passionately in memories and traditions and still look forward with more excitement and joy this year in particular due to Elisha being with us but still...No Letter....and the reason seems to be..
This year I have absolutely nothing I want...or need
...I have everything.
My life is complete...I have a great husband and count myself among the women who are blessed by still loving and caring for the man in my life..I have three great kids who have husbands and partners that I love and care for...I have more than just a "roof over my head"...my home is warm and comfortable...I have a relationship with Jesus and know His love and grace each day....I am part of a Faith community where I can grow and know God better. I have the greatest job in the world where I get to care for other peoples children ...(and get paid for it)....I have some strong friendships where I know I can be myself. After years of financial stress and debt we now are in a position where we can know a bit of freedom and where Chris can relax after working solidly over his entire adult life....and last but not least..We have been given the gift of a grandchild.!!..You know when your heart is full and you think life cant be any better...and then God squashes it all down and pours out more blessing..well Elisha is that for us...
So...this year my letter to Santa will get written..I have promised the Elves to get it done today...it will have the usual requests of a book/ CD etc but along with that letter I may also write a letter of Praise and Thanksgiving to God..
He is the Giver of life...
He is the Sustainer of life...
He is our Provider..
He is our Healer..
He is our Saviour...
He is our Prince of Peace....
In the midst of all this I am mindful of those who may not have this peace...I know from the response I saw at church yesterday than many of my friends and community have pain in their lives at this moment in time...Christmas for some will not be a time of joy...of family....of good memories or traditions and as I close this entry I am praying for peace to reign in all our lives ...not just at Christmas but all through the coming year. May you and all your kith and kin know peace and joy this Christmas.
Isaiah Ch 8 Verse 6
For unto us a child is born ,to us a child is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor ,Mighty God, Everlasting Father,Prince of Peace.
Please don't think for one moment we are the golden family...far from it...we have a couple of rattly skeletons hanging around our past but have worked hard together as a family to keep going and pressing through so that the love and grace and peace of Jesus keeps us bonded together.
One thing we have always done each year at this time is Chris and I write a letter to Santa...we started to do this at the same time as each of the kids wrote theirs. It has carried on as a sort of family joke...I say stuff like....
"I believe in Santa...always have and always will...there has to be a Santa cos otherwise how do I get all the stuff on my list"
So...on 1st December I write my letter..sit it on a shelf in living room and it disappears(!) within hours and lo and behold ....pressies appear under the tree on Christmas morning. I know (!) that the kids still secretly believe that Santa exists as why would they be asking me if I have written my letter yet..!!! In fact there are times I wonder about my kids as they often tell me "the elves been busy."
Christmas traditions can make the very best memories and as a family we have somehow or other made a few that have outlasted childhood...
Always a real tree...chosen with care..not too fat not too thin...just right..
Always wait till 1st Dec before we talk or plan Christmas..
Always wait till 1st Dec to play Christmas music..
Always try and be together...may not actually be on the day as each child has grown and made their own families ...but somehow we still manage a day when we celebrate our time together...
Always try to go to church together if we are home for Christmas.
Always have crackers and wear the hats and tell the jokes
Always play the game "what colour is your hat "
Always stay up till after midnight on Christmas eve...and I get to open one pressie before I go to bed...
Always walk the dogs....
Always watch a new DVD together....or The Royle Family on TV.
Always have our pudding in the evening...never at the table..
So many other things we have done together...either every year or for a season depending on how old the children were. A couple of lasting memories and traditions we have passed on to our children ..it has been so lovely watching and taking part in their own versions ....
Disguising the pressie...if a really small pressie...wrap it up in huge box or multiple layers.
Hiding the pressie and have them hunt it out with clues.
Using scrabble letters to spell it out...I remember the year we booked Mike on to an Oak Hall Ski trip and used an M&M wee toy...the M&M man was on skis ...big clue...and we emptied the sweets and put in scrabble letter spelling out Oak Hall Ski Trip....took him ages to get it and when he did.....he burst into tears...and bear in mind he was 19 at the time.!
So...each year ..1st Dec my letter would be written.It rarely had any surprises.....usually a couple of books..a CD...some perfume ..smellies...writing paper...and yay for Santa my wee bundle under the tree would be..a couple of books ..a CD...some perfume and smellies and writing paper.!!
This year it is now the 13th Dec and I still have not written my letter to Santa..Chris has done his and the Elves have spirited it away and are no doubt busy busy busy....and I guess they are getting a bit frustrated that my letter has still not appeared. I woke this morning with the reason why I haven't written my letter so clear in my mind. I still believe (!) in Santa I still believe passionately in memories and traditions and still look forward with more excitement and joy this year in particular due to Elisha being with us but still...No Letter....and the reason seems to be..
This year I have absolutely nothing I want...or need
...I have everything.
My life is complete...I have a great husband and count myself among the women who are blessed by still loving and caring for the man in my life..I have three great kids who have husbands and partners that I love and care for...I have more than just a "roof over my head"...my home is warm and comfortable...I have a relationship with Jesus and know His love and grace each day....I am part of a Faith community where I can grow and know God better. I have the greatest job in the world where I get to care for other peoples children ...(and get paid for it)....I have some strong friendships where I know I can be myself. After years of financial stress and debt we now are in a position where we can know a bit of freedom and where Chris can relax after working solidly over his entire adult life....and last but not least..We have been given the gift of a grandchild.!!..You know when your heart is full and you think life cant be any better...and then God squashes it all down and pours out more blessing..well Elisha is that for us...
So...this year my letter to Santa will get written..I have promised the Elves to get it done today...it will have the usual requests of a book/ CD etc but along with that letter I may also write a letter of Praise and Thanksgiving to God..
He is the Giver of life...
He is the Sustainer of life...
He is our Provider..
He is our Healer..
He is our Saviour...
He is our Prince of Peace....
In the midst of all this I am mindful of those who may not have this peace...I know from the response I saw at church yesterday than many of my friends and community have pain in their lives at this moment in time...Christmas for some will not be a time of joy...of family....of good memories or traditions and as I close this entry I am praying for peace to reign in all our lives ...not just at Christmas but all through the coming year. May you and all your kith and kin know peace and joy this Christmas.
Isaiah Ch 8 Verse 6
For unto us a child is born ,to us a child is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor ,Mighty God, Everlasting Father,Prince of Peace.
Monday, 22 November 2010
Review of 2010....so far....
Its is Monday 22nd of November 2010 and its cold and grey outside and as I sit at my laptop looking out onto my leaf covered garden I have been taking a couple of hours to review this last year. It is almost time to begin to write the annual family newsletter to be included in our Christmas cards and with so much happening in 2010 its good to just have time to reflect...
This year began with Cat and Nick beginning a journey of hope...a journey of trusting God...a journey of faith and a journey that they had no real idea of where they would end up. It also began with the knowledge that finally Chris would be made redundant...after months and months of rumour and speculation we knew his days were numbered and this too would mean we would also embark on a journey...The year marked our first year for a very long time being Debt Free....with having paid our IVA in full at the end of last year we knew we would be setting off into a new beginning for us financially..( altho being made redundant didn't seem like a great start.!! )For me personally it brought a huge change in that I laid down everything I was involved with in church life....a lot had happened in the first few months that caused me to have a major wobble in many ways. The saddest part in all of that is that relationships were deeply affected and I know that I didn't handle that well. The after effects are still having some influence on my journey but I am walking by faith and trusting God for 2011.
Reflecting back on the year ...one main theme that has interspersed every part of our lives has been our family and friends...we have had more family gatherings...more time with our friends than ever before and for this we thank God that what could have been a long hard year has been made a lot easier by the support love and encouragement we have had . Our children and their partners and spouses have made such a great effort to celebrate our times together....whether walking the dogs...eating out at fabulous restaurants...hanging out with a dvd....ordering a pizza....mothers day...fathers day....Chris official last day at work.,..all have been so special. Our friends have made Sundays at The Manor a regular time to be together...cups of tea...trips to London in a limo...time spent wandering the shops and garden centers...laughing and crying and praying together all have been the fabric in which God has weaved his strength into our lives.
Bringing life up to date on this cold and grey day...Chris is now "retired" and will be living his dream....for decades he has dreamt of serving the church in a support role involving audio and IT support...many times we would wish we weren't in debt so he could give a day a week or similar to the church and now he/we are in a position to do this...God has opened up the door for this to begin in next month . He has also been doing painting and decorating for folk..so if you need some work done..CJ is the man who can !!!
The journey that Cat and Nick have been on came to its destination last week with the arrival of Elisha James Kent...and oh heavens what an answer to prayer he is. God has been faithful in every way and I am still awed by HIS goodness. Elisha is so beautiful and Cat and Nick are so enjoying every second of this precious wee boy. I am now officially a Granny and will answer to Granny Mooney. When we got the call to let us know he had arrived and all was well...I can only tell you my life changed in a micro second...I knew it would never be the same again. You read about "joy" and wonder if it is a real emotion or if it can be adequately described and I can tell you it must have been "joy" that filled me at that moment cos I haven't experienced anything close to this emotion and so far it is still filling my every waking moment.
In reviewing this year I am grateful for new friendships..people who I have known for many years but not necessarily as close friends seem to have moved into my life in a deeper way ... Being able to be vulnerable and honest brings its own rewards. I am part of a wee study group doing MORPH...and just hanging out regularly with this group having breakfast together and looking at what God is doing in our lives is all part of the years journey and I am looking forward to ongoing spiritual growth in 2011.
Finally....as all our family gathered at Cat and Nicks on Sunday to celebrate Elisha and to drink champagne and just be a multi generational family...Chris made a toast...and my heart was full....you see for decades Chris own dad has been the "Patriarch" of our family...Grandad Mooney(altho he is now to be known as Great Grandad Mooney ) is always the one who makes the speeches and toasts etc and it is always a tearjerker moment as he always says that FAMILY is the most precious of things and here we were now with Chris doing the honours as our very own Patriarch and it was just the most special of times as we all raised our glasses to Elisha and to Cat and Nick as we enter into a new realm of multi generational family times.
For all of the above and all that is to come may God be given praise and thanks .
This year began with Cat and Nick beginning a journey of hope...a journey of trusting God...a journey of faith and a journey that they had no real idea of where they would end up. It also began with the knowledge that finally Chris would be made redundant...after months and months of rumour and speculation we knew his days were numbered and this too would mean we would also embark on a journey...The year marked our first year for a very long time being Debt Free....with having paid our IVA in full at the end of last year we knew we would be setting off into a new beginning for us financially..( altho being made redundant didn't seem like a great start.!! )For me personally it brought a huge change in that I laid down everything I was involved with in church life....a lot had happened in the first few months that caused me to have a major wobble in many ways. The saddest part in all of that is that relationships were deeply affected and I know that I didn't handle that well. The after effects are still having some influence on my journey but I am walking by faith and trusting God for 2011.
Reflecting back on the year ...one main theme that has interspersed every part of our lives has been our family and friends...we have had more family gatherings...more time with our friends than ever before and for this we thank God that what could have been a long hard year has been made a lot easier by the support love and encouragement we have had . Our children and their partners and spouses have made such a great effort to celebrate our times together....whether walking the dogs...eating out at fabulous restaurants...hanging out with a dvd....ordering a pizza....mothers day...fathers day....Chris official last day at work.,..all have been so special. Our friends have made Sundays at The Manor a regular time to be together...cups of tea...trips to London in a limo...time spent wandering the shops and garden centers...laughing and crying and praying together all have been the fabric in which God has weaved his strength into our lives.
Bringing life up to date on this cold and grey day...Chris is now "retired" and will be living his dream....for decades he has dreamt of serving the church in a support role involving audio and IT support...many times we would wish we weren't in debt so he could give a day a week or similar to the church and now he/we are in a position to do this...God has opened up the door for this to begin in next month . He has also been doing painting and decorating for folk..so if you need some work done..CJ is the man who can !!!
The journey that Cat and Nick have been on came to its destination last week with the arrival of Elisha James Kent...and oh heavens what an answer to prayer he is. God has been faithful in every way and I am still awed by HIS goodness. Elisha is so beautiful and Cat and Nick are so enjoying every second of this precious wee boy. I am now officially a Granny and will answer to Granny Mooney. When we got the call to let us know he had arrived and all was well...I can only tell you my life changed in a micro second...I knew it would never be the same again. You read about "joy" and wonder if it is a real emotion or if it can be adequately described and I can tell you it must have been "joy" that filled me at that moment cos I haven't experienced anything close to this emotion and so far it is still filling my every waking moment.
In reviewing this year I am grateful for new friendships..people who I have known for many years but not necessarily as close friends seem to have moved into my life in a deeper way ... Being able to be vulnerable and honest brings its own rewards. I am part of a wee study group doing MORPH...and just hanging out regularly with this group having breakfast together and looking at what God is doing in our lives is all part of the years journey and I am looking forward to ongoing spiritual growth in 2011.
Finally....as all our family gathered at Cat and Nicks on Sunday to celebrate Elisha and to drink champagne and just be a multi generational family...Chris made a toast...and my heart was full....you see for decades Chris own dad has been the "Patriarch" of our family...Grandad Mooney(altho he is now to be known as Great Grandad Mooney ) is always the one who makes the speeches and toasts etc and it is always a tearjerker moment as he always says that FAMILY is the most precious of things and here we were now with Chris doing the honours as our very own Patriarch and it was just the most special of times as we all raised our glasses to Elisha and to Cat and Nick as we enter into a new realm of multi generational family times.
For all of the above and all that is to come may God be given praise and thanks .
Thursday, 21 October 2010
20/70/10
The title of this blog may be a little confusing for those who didn't attend the Willow Creek Leaders conference at church so I will aim to explain what it means.
Jack Welch who spoke at one of the sessions talks about a principle he employed called "Differentiation"...In his 40 years with GE he learned over time to employ this process. Its main points ....simplified ....are that in any organisation there will be
20% of the team who will be the top workers...the best..the leaders..
the go-getters...the pace setters..the vision implementers etc....then there is the
70% of people who will follow the leaders...bringing their own skills and giftings without whom much of the organisation wouldn't function well.....then there are the
10% of people who pretty much didn't do anything really apart from have a moan...cause problems...gossip and bad mouth etc.
Jacks experience is of the business world and not necessarily the church but there will be principles that can be identified which can be brought into play with any organisation ...He was talking to Bill Hybels who is a world class church leader and this part of the discussion Bill did say would be controversial in church settings.The thoughts behind this principle is to let the people know which percentage they fall into...so those who were the 20 percenters would be praised..encouraged and given all the resources and back up needed to keep them aiming high....the 70 percenters would also be encouraged to keep going..keep supporting...and initiatives set out to increase their skills with the possibilities of moving upwards...the 10 percenters would be encouraged to leave and go elsewhere....so you can see why this can be considered controversial.!!
I had pretty much decided I wasn't going to stay in for this session as it didn't really attract me at all but for some reason I did stay and was so glad I did. You know when you get the "light bulb" moments when listening to someone sharing their thoughts and beliefs....well... I had a major light bulb moment and heard God say to me
"Lean in....Lean in..I am about to open your heart to hear what I have to say through this man "
I pretty much had the revelation in an instant but have since read parts of Jack Welchs book..."Winning" and just felt God confirm much of what was said. For me it has set me free in many ways and some of the ways in which I have struggled this year have been clarified...
Let me see if I can explain...for much of my early Christian life I have been involved in leadership roles and worked in teams and within that I have always thought I was a 20 percenter. In this last season of leadership (2-3 years ) the church structure has changed a fair bit and whilst I thought I was a 20 percenter I always felt as if I didn't quite make it....it seemed as if I was always fighting to get further in...may not make sense I know to anyone reading this but at times I believed I was "inside" but then most of the time I still felt as if I was "outside"..I would have some access to some information or people ... invited to some meetings..involved in some planning etc...but excluded from others...this caused a lot of confusion on my part and I am sure I confused lots of the church staff as I jostled along trying to figure out where and what i was supposed to be. In the end I stopped trying and one thing led to another and I faded out...feeling lost..hurt...confused...and this last 6 months have been a little bit of a desert time for me trying to figure it all out and make sense of what had happened.
During the Jack Welch session...God said to me...
"you were never meant to be a 20 percenter...you were meant to be 70 percenter and that if I let Him...He would equip me to be an amazing 70 percenter...a great 70 percenter...."
I confess to having a weep at this point as so much fell into place in my spirit...I had been striving all along to be what God hadn't planned for me to be....I could let go this weird feeling of never feeling quite good enough and just be the best 70 percenter...being a fab 70 percenter is way more exciting and enticing and attractive to me than being a poor 20 percenter. I didn't feel as if I was being demoted or made to feel a failure ...God doesn't work like that and this was some kind of divine intervention rather than a human one and in truth I felt as if chains had fallen off my spirit. I said to several people immediately after the session that I felt as if I had had an Epiphany..!!
So...what does this mean for me personally...it means that I can use all that God has gifted me with ...to the very best of my abilities ...I can look at what I am good at and do it well...I can love people...encourage them....challenge them...I can carry on sending my notes and cards and being generous with my time and money and energy....I can volunteer to serve as and when I am able ...I can smile...I can care...I can show mercy..grace...I can speak truth...I can gather friends...gather women...share bible and fun times together..
I can follow...the 70 percenters are a crucial and vital part of the church...without a great group of 70 percenters the work of the 20 percenters would go nowhere.!! and therefor I am setting my sights on the 20 percenters and saying...
yep...I am following you...I am a good follower.!! I am a great 70 percenter.
Finally....one of the most controversial asects of this Differentiation Principle that Jack talks about is that he recommends that each group should be told who and what they are..eg...those who are 20 percenters should know this...and the 70 percenters should also know...he feels very strongly this is the route to follow. Whilst not presuming to say whether this would work outside of a commercial organisation I would say that personally....if I had known I wasn't a 20 percenter but was a valuable and much needed 70 percenter I am sure it would have saved me from a time of complete confusion which brought me extremely low and caused me to react in ways that I am sure caused hurt and pain to the people who I related to.
Jack Welch who spoke at one of the sessions talks about a principle he employed called "Differentiation"...In his 40 years with GE he learned over time to employ this process. Its main points ....simplified ....are that in any organisation there will be
20% of the team who will be the top workers...the best..the leaders..
the go-getters...the pace setters..the vision implementers etc....then there is the
70% of people who will follow the leaders...bringing their own skills and giftings without whom much of the organisation wouldn't function well.....then there are the
10% of people who pretty much didn't do anything really apart from have a moan...cause problems...gossip and bad mouth etc.
Jacks experience is of the business world and not necessarily the church but there will be principles that can be identified which can be brought into play with any organisation ...He was talking to Bill Hybels who is a world class church leader and this part of the discussion Bill did say would be controversial in church settings.The thoughts behind this principle is to let the people know which percentage they fall into...so those who were the 20 percenters would be praised..encouraged and given all the resources and back up needed to keep them aiming high....the 70 percenters would also be encouraged to keep going..keep supporting...and initiatives set out to increase their skills with the possibilities of moving upwards...the 10 percenters would be encouraged to leave and go elsewhere....so you can see why this can be considered controversial.!!
I had pretty much decided I wasn't going to stay in for this session as it didn't really attract me at all but for some reason I did stay and was so glad I did. You know when you get the "light bulb" moments when listening to someone sharing their thoughts and beliefs....well... I had a major light bulb moment and heard God say to me
"Lean in....Lean in..I am about to open your heart to hear what I have to say through this man "
I pretty much had the revelation in an instant but have since read parts of Jack Welchs book..."Winning" and just felt God confirm much of what was said. For me it has set me free in many ways and some of the ways in which I have struggled this year have been clarified...
Let me see if I can explain...for much of my early Christian life I have been involved in leadership roles and worked in teams and within that I have always thought I was a 20 percenter. In this last season of leadership (2-3 years ) the church structure has changed a fair bit and whilst I thought I was a 20 percenter I always felt as if I didn't quite make it....it seemed as if I was always fighting to get further in...may not make sense I know to anyone reading this but at times I believed I was "inside" but then most of the time I still felt as if I was "outside"..I would have some access to some information or people ... invited to some meetings..involved in some planning etc...but excluded from others...this caused a lot of confusion on my part and I am sure I confused lots of the church staff as I jostled along trying to figure out where and what i was supposed to be. In the end I stopped trying and one thing led to another and I faded out...feeling lost..hurt...confused...and this last 6 months have been a little bit of a desert time for me trying to figure it all out and make sense of what had happened.
During the Jack Welch session...God said to me...
"you were never meant to be a 20 percenter...you were meant to be 70 percenter and that if I let Him...He would equip me to be an amazing 70 percenter...a great 70 percenter...."
I confess to having a weep at this point as so much fell into place in my spirit...I had been striving all along to be what God hadn't planned for me to be....I could let go this weird feeling of never feeling quite good enough and just be the best 70 percenter...being a fab 70 percenter is way more exciting and enticing and attractive to me than being a poor 20 percenter. I didn't feel as if I was being demoted or made to feel a failure ...God doesn't work like that and this was some kind of divine intervention rather than a human one and in truth I felt as if chains had fallen off my spirit. I said to several people immediately after the session that I felt as if I had had an Epiphany..!!
So...what does this mean for me personally...it means that I can use all that God has gifted me with ...to the very best of my abilities ...I can look at what I am good at and do it well...I can love people...encourage them....challenge them...I can carry on sending my notes and cards and being generous with my time and money and energy....I can volunteer to serve as and when I am able ...I can smile...I can care...I can show mercy..grace...I can speak truth...I can gather friends...gather women...share bible and fun times together..
I can follow...the 70 percenters are a crucial and vital part of the church...without a great group of 70 percenters the work of the 20 percenters would go nowhere.!! and therefor I am setting my sights on the 20 percenters and saying...
yep...I am following you...I am a good follower.!! I am a great 70 percenter.
Finally....one of the most controversial asects of this Differentiation Principle that Jack talks about is that he recommends that each group should be told who and what they are..eg...those who are 20 percenters should know this...and the 70 percenters should also know...he feels very strongly this is the route to follow. Whilst not presuming to say whether this would work outside of a commercial organisation I would say that personally....if I had known I wasn't a 20 percenter but was a valuable and much needed 70 percenter I am sure it would have saved me from a time of complete confusion which brought me extremely low and caused me to react in ways that I am sure caused hurt and pain to the people who I related to.
Saturday, 11 September 2010
Facebook ...Its a funny old thing !!!
FACEBOOK...its a funny old thing is FB...I avoided it for a long time simply because it was yet another techie thing I would have to master...having taken a good 3 years to catch up with texting and get to the stage where I wasn't scared of my mobile phone I kinda thought FB would be even more terrifying. Strangely enough it has been reasonably easy for me to get into it and certainly for last year or so I have become an almost daily Fbooker...
I still have no real understanding of it and can only manage rudimentary working...eg still have no idea of the "chat" or how to upload photos ..but I can post a status and leave comments and view the odd You tube . I have no interest in all the collective add ons..eg..Farmville and can actually block them from appearing on my Homepage...after asking on FB how to do this..!!
So...what does FB give me that attracts me to look at it almost daily...I have thought about this for a while now and have come up with the following Pros and Cons
PROs
*it has brought far away family and friends back into my life ...
*news and views and updates on how people are...
*fun times with crazy status and jokes....
*its a quick way to get a prayer request out to friends...
*the messaging facility is another way to make arrangements with folk...
*photos of family and friends allows me to "see" into their lives....
*keeps me from being bored....
*makes me think about what people write as their status...
*gives me the opportunity to answer a "need" in peoples lives...
*as I work from home it brings the "outside " inside ..if that makes sense...
*asking for info on something in particular..eg eye laser or Ebooks bringing loads of recommendations
*anyone know of a plumber..garage ..mechanic...
*can anyone help with a lift ...meal...babysit...
*reading about church stuff from everyones different perspectives....
*links to blogs....
and I could write more....BUT the Cons....... also open up a whole different set of thoughts that I hadnt bargained on and have given me some things to think about and to work through.
CONS..
*reading about other people's arrangements and gatherings can leave me dis-satisfied with my own social culture...eg...
*seeing pics of someones birthday gathering and wondering why I hadn't been invited...
*sometimes posting a status and no-one comments on it can leave me wondering if people care....
*commenting on someone elses status only to have it misunderstood....
*making a jokey status..which no-one gets......
*reading about everyones comings and goings and feeling as if my life is empty....
*feeling alone.....
I have taken a few breaks from FB over last few months to prove to myself I am NOT actually addicted and I can easily go off on hols and not give it much thought but in my day to day life it seems to play a part ....one of the small struggles I have to contend with is....
I read and "see" many different groups of friends interacting with each other and it seems as if everyone else has a busy and satisfying social sphere than I do..!!and me being a "nosey" type I often read a status about something that I know nothing about and find myself wondering why I dont have that knowledge....
Yep...FB is a funny old thing isnt it?? or is it just me....???
I still have no real understanding of it and can only manage rudimentary working...eg still have no idea of the "chat" or how to upload photos ..but I can post a status and leave comments and view the odd You tube . I have no interest in all the collective add ons..eg..Farmville and can actually block them from appearing on my Homepage...after asking on FB how to do this..!!
So...what does FB give me that attracts me to look at it almost daily...I have thought about this for a while now and have come up with the following Pros and Cons
PROs
*it has brought far away family and friends back into my life ...
*news and views and updates on how people are...
*fun times with crazy status and jokes....
*its a quick way to get a prayer request out to friends...
*the messaging facility is another way to make arrangements with folk...
*photos of family and friends allows me to "see" into their lives....
*keeps me from being bored....
*makes me think about what people write as their status...
*gives me the opportunity to answer a "need" in peoples lives...
*as I work from home it brings the "outside " inside ..if that makes sense...
*asking for info on something in particular..eg eye laser or Ebooks bringing loads of recommendations
*anyone know of a plumber..garage ..mechanic...
*can anyone help with a lift ...meal...babysit...
*reading about church stuff from everyones different perspectives....
*links to blogs....
and I could write more....BUT the Cons....... also open up a whole different set of thoughts that I hadnt bargained on and have given me some things to think about and to work through.
CONS..
*reading about other people's arrangements and gatherings can leave me dis-satisfied with my own social culture...eg...
*seeing pics of someones birthday gathering and wondering why I hadn't been invited...
*sometimes posting a status and no-one comments on it can leave me wondering if people care....
*commenting on someone elses status only to have it misunderstood....
*making a jokey status..which no-one gets......
*reading about everyones comings and goings and feeling as if my life is empty....
*feeling alone.....
I have taken a few breaks from FB over last few months to prove to myself I am NOT actually addicted and I can easily go off on hols and not give it much thought but in my day to day life it seems to play a part ....one of the small struggles I have to contend with is....
I read and "see" many different groups of friends interacting with each other and it seems as if everyone else has a busy and satisfying social sphere than I do..!!and me being a "nosey" type I often read a status about something that I know nothing about and find myself wondering why I dont have that knowledge....
Yep...FB is a funny old thing isnt it?? or is it just me....???
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